Embrace the Storm by Anika Munshi
The example of a tree is profound in many ways.
A matured tree in its life has weathered many storms. The tree does not see the storm as a burden, but a blessing meant to aid its long-term survival. Each storm provides rain, helps spread seeds, and disperses dust that carries life-giving nutrients. Water, wind, and even fire are necessary for a tree. Even when fire destroys an entire forest, the tree looks beyond its own life and sows precious nutrients so the cycle of life can repeat. The tree sees this as an opportunity for rebirth for its species, equipping future generations with resources that carry the legacy of the tree to new heights.
People are like trees. Some of us have grown big and tall but have not learned how to weather through storms, we fall at the slightest wind and must lean on others to survive. Our cultures have informed some of us that it is not our responsibility to weather certain storms and we have become increasingly reliant on others to shelter us. Others have been taught that it is our job to both weather the storm AND protect the forest, thus overburdening us and setting us up for failure. Some others have been taught that it is their job to control the storm, and when they can't they are left helpless and powerless. When we grow up seeing life as a storm, it becomes difficult to enjoy the seasons.
Our religion calls for a necessary purifying of the heart, which I take to mean that each person must go through enough storms in their life to develop a level of distress tolerance. We must do our part to study the winds and learn to reach for the rain for us to learn how to enjoy the breeze. Going through one storm after another gives us a new perspective on life, it gives us vital information about when to give and when to withhold, how to navigate and enjoy the seasons, and feel confident about our future. Those of us who have weathered many storms have learned our individual anatomy and worked hard to strengthen each part. We have grown thicker bark, stronger roots, learned ingenious methods of spreading seeds, used fire to our advantage, learned to conserve our energy in bitter environments, and branched out evenly to give us balance when the wind sweeps us from different directions.
Protecting ourselves does not mean becoming hardened, stiff, and numb. A tree must have enough flexibility so that it can sway in the wind and still stay firmly rooted. A tree recognizes that for it to grow it has to leave a softer layer within to give it the opportunity to expand. It must expose and risk its delicate flowers, leaves, and seeds to predators and the outside world to be able to live on after its own death. Even within the seed, the tree embeds a message, a genetic code, based on all that it has learned to prepare the seed for future storms. A tree always thinks beyond itself without compromising its own existence and quality of life.
However for a tree to understand its true purpose, it must be raised in an environment wherein its former years it is tended to, and in its later years, it naturally gravitates towards tending to others. A matured tree does not just become, it must be tended to carefully for many years before it “knows what to do”. So many of us expect others to just snap into place when the situation calls for it. We expect men to jump into the role of protector, provider, and decision-maker when they were not protected, provided for, and allowed to make mistakes. We expect women to jump into a motherly role and know how to “instinctively” nurture and care for others. We teach her to sacrifice her own needs before she is taught how to meet her needs. We expect children to suddenly become adults, tell them that rest and play is for the weak, and then expect them to become creative, innovative problem-solvers and leaders! We even expect children to take care of their parents’ every anxious and depressive thought and feeling when they are ill-equipped to do so and cannot succeed without first damaging themselves. Expecting a human to just know what to do is like expecting a sapling to become a matured tree overnight! Or worse, not giving the tree proper water and sunlight and still expecting it to provide shade! Ajeeb!
No matter how wholesome the tree is, it cannot be prepared for every situation. Sometimes a hurricane will come and test the tree’s limits. Some trees will be lost, but those unfortunate events bring meaning to life itself and instill a renewed purpose for others. There will be martyrs, but a tree does not strive to become one. Sometimes frequent hurricanes and fires are a side effect of nature being out of balance. Desperate times will call for desperate measures; all the more reason to strive to survive and thrive beyond ourselves.
As Muslims, we believe life is a process of constant refinement, a balance between tending to ourselves and tending to others. But everything has its time and place. We must learn to overcome smaller winds before facing the storms. It’s not about seeking so much external comfort that we avoid the responsibility of taking care of others; it’s about accepting and swallowing bits of discomfort to prevent us from situations where we are forced to swallow it all at once. Allah is like the loving mother who lovingly spoon-feeds us medicine to make us better, but He is even more. He only gives us a burden that we can bear. He only asks that we learn to swallow some discomfort today so that we can reap the rewards abundantly tomorrow. He wants us to renew our trust in Him and grow with a sense of purpose. For us to truly feel happy and confident in our abilities, we must eventually learn to master the storm. It is through these gradual achievements that we attain internal comfort, allowing us to enjoy this life. If only next time we actively chose to happily expand and grow. Only then will we learn to be grateful for the storms and for what blessings they provide.
It must be noted, however, that we do not purposely stay in abusive environments where we are left unprotected and resourceless. If the environment does not sustain our long-term growth then it is deteriorating us; it is a fungus that will slowly eat us unless we take appropriate action, and many abusive relationships are parasitic by nature.
In all, remember to be the matured tree but cultivate it, slowly and gradually. The wise tree is one who has weathered many storms and has visions to build a forest. A tree is connected and in harmony with its environment. It follows a code, instructions by a Divine will, and knows its ultimate purpose. Only a tree that has been properly nurtured can be prepared to nurture future generations of life. Think long-term. Think like a tree and embrace the storm.
May we all rise in our ranks and unite under the shade of sidratul muntaha.